Reign
Short Essay
I went sober almost 14 months ago. One of the things I noticed (almost immediately) was that without the influence of alcohol clouding my mind, I found clarity.
All of the sudden, I was standing in a land that I knew was mine, but most of it was dark and forgotten. You know those video game maps where you only get to see new parts when you complete some quest? It was like that, and I wasn’t completely back at the start, but I was close to the beginning.
Three months after going sober, I interviewed therapists. The first two didn’t seem like they would make good companions as I unlocked the maps of my inner world, but the third? He was the perfect exploratory companion.
Since then, we’ve unlocked much of the map. There are archetypes we’ve met along the way, each one being a manifestation of some part of myself that I’d long forgotten or deliberately silenced. All of them were part of myself, and each one would need reintegrated.
I’ve (re)met Wanderlust, Warrior, Inner Child, Naysayer, Joker, Savant, Creator—so many parts of myself, all reunited and activated in the Land of Inner Me. They were like cogs of a machine, lying in a pile that I could only offer my attention to once I stopped dulling my focus. With my therapist’s help, and increasingly on my own, I’ve assembled them into a machine. Each cog would be capable of turning in its own direction, with its own function, size, and speed, but nothing was in motion yet.
This last one though: she’s incredible. Turns out, I called her in sometime in late 2025. I have seen her rising up, and in the last month, she has become the front and center archetype. Going into my last therapy session, I asked how I could promote her. Give her a board seat in the executive panel of my mind. Give her some fancy title and authority, like Chief Archetype Officer or Badass-in-Residence.
Instead, we picked her up—that mighty cog—and we put her into the machine. And do you know what happened?
It turned on.
Her place was on the throne in the Land of Inner Me. From there, she and I maintain a Bluetooth connection as I explore the land. My land. She was as important as the other archetypes, but no more dominant. She was the switch to powering on the machine. I was the source.
Turns out, I didn’t come here to compete with anyone or anything. I am here to rule, with each of my archetypes at-the-ready, and my Empress on the throne when I need to call in my power.
Together, we reign.